Here’s All the Cussing in Drew Magary’s “Why Your Team Sucks” for the Top/Bottom 4 Teams

By September 6, 2018Football

Drew Magary has a “popular” series on Deadspin that lists all the ways that every NFL team sucks. Similar to the past-gone Puck Daddy eulogies, some of these are amazing and some are just ok. But they have one thing in common: @%*(&#@.

I read these from time to time, and often wondered if the teams that are actually good get more cussing than the teams that are actually bad. I figured that the good teams would get more hate, both from people that hate them being good, and fans that hate them for being good but not good enough.

I was mostly right.

I thought about doing this for all 32 teams, but that is a LOT of Drew to read though, and lot of time spent for some pretty useless content. So here are the top and bottom 4.

Eagles Patriots Vikings Jags Browns Giants Colts Texans
Fuck 20 29 46 29 19 29 22 14
Shit 10 27 15 9 12 12 13 9
Ass 11 9 7 3 2 5 4 4
Damn 3 1 6 4 0 1 4 2
Dick 7 3 5 0 1 3 1 0

 

I included all variations of these, so fucking, fucks, shitface, asshole, goddamn, dickhole, and so forth were all counted. Oddly enough, the spiritual-damn was the only version used. Ass was the most difficult to track, since it appeared in words like pass, assistant, and assault. Assault was used so many times I considered looking into which team had more players who liked to commit crimes with their fists.

I started tracking “Sucks” as well but since “sucks” was in most of the titles (What’s new that sucks, what’s always sucked, etc) it wasn’t super relevant. The Browns had the most though, probably because they actually do suck the most.

Here’s the date in a line graph, because why not:

There we go.

 

 

Scott Huntington

Author Scott Huntington

Scott Huntington is an Automotive YouTuber and writer who loves cars, sports, and business. Follow him on Twitter @SMHuntington or email [email protected].

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